Mourinho has often been linked with Old Trafford throughout his hugely successful career and was touted as a possible successor to Sir Alex Ferguson as the years wound down on the Scot's career.
Now there is a vacancy at United for the second time in 11 months, but Mourinho, who returned to Chelsea last summer after a near six-year absence, is adamant he is not a contender to succeed David Moyes.
"Of course not," Mourinho said.
"I don't know how can somebody think about it.
"I left Real Madrid to come specifically to Chelsea, I signed a four-year contract with Chelsea.
"I told Chelsea that they never have to worry about me because I don't want to leave. I stay here until the club wants me to stay.
"(No) job would move me from Chelsea."
Mourinho expressed regret at Moyes' departure earlier this week and has since spoken to the former Everton boss.
"I spoke with David privately and I don't have to share with you," Mourinho added.
Meanwhile, Real boss Ancelotti is similarly adamant he will not be leaving Spain to replace Moyes.
The Italian, well known to English fans after a successful stint with Chelsea, has been linked to the role.
He is a popular figure in the Spanish capital, though, and could, over the coming weeks, add the Champions League and Primera Division titles to the Copa del Rey he has already won.
Speaking at Los Blancos' media conference ahead of their clash with Osasuna he said: "I'm happy here at Real Madrid. I am lucky to be working at the best club in the world and my place is here.
"I respect Man United a lot. I was disappointed for David Moyes, but my place at the moment is here."
Ancelotti, 54, is a renowned coach around the world, having won the Champions League and domestic honours with AC Milan, while also winning titles with Chelsea and Paris St Germain.
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