The Rio Report

5 crazy things you missed: Suarez’s way to beat FIFA ban

The Rio Report

The World Cup can be almost too much of a good thing sometimes - so many amazing stories come and go that it's impossible to keep up with them all.

That's what we're here for, of course, keeping an ear to the ground for the funniest, quirkiest, strangest and most shocking stories from Brazil 2014.

Here's our pick of the best from the last day or so.

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1. How Suarez can defy FIFA's ban

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Football fans in Kosovo show off the national flag

Top flight football clubs in Kosovo can only dream of attracting players of the standing of Luis Suarez - but the Uruguayan's predilection for biting people could make those dreams come true.

How? Because Kosovo, as a newly-minted nation state, is not yet a full member of FIFA - and are thus exempt from the four-month, worldwide ban football imposed on Suarez by the game's governing body.

Hajvalia FC, who came sixth in the Kosovo Superleague last season, have apparently made Liverpool an offer of £25,000 for the loan period, plus a luscious £1,200-a-week for Suarez.

That's roughly 150 times less than he currently earns with the Reds, but at least it'd cover his Council Tax bill.

And at least he'd be playing, keeping sharp, ready to return to Liverpool at the end of October.

To be fair to Hajvalia, the club sound cheekily optimistic rather than genuinely hopeful.

"It might sound ridiculous to him," club director Xhavit Pacolli told Sport Plus,"but if he is willing to come and play for us, he is welcome."

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2. A new job for Suarez to get his teeth in to

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Sausage company trolls Suarez

Two new job offers for Suarez in one day?

Plenty of food companies have been trolling the Uruguayan striker ever since he bit Giorgio Chiellini of Italy ("If you're THAT hungry, why not try our new McWhopper / Louisiana Fried Chicken / Express Hut special?" etc).

But processed meat (is there a less-appetising phrase in the world?) company Mattesons have gone one better by offering him a job offer as the company's new "Official Meat Taster".

After promising a new range of products named after Suarez's bite victims, Meats Category Director (is there a less-appetising job title in the world?) Christopher Owen added that, "The stars are aligned. This could be a match made in heaven."

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Sausage company trolls Suarez

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3. Crying a river for Algeria

First it was Mexico's Miguel Herrera, now it's Algeria manager Vahid Halilhodzic who has become an icon across the world for showing his emotions. The Bosnian was so devastated at the late goals from Germany that put his men out that he couldn't even bear to go to the post-match press conference.

No matter. His face in these images is more eloquent than anything that could have been said.

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4. The shocking murder that has rocked the World Cup

The early signs before the World Cup started were that Brazil would be rocked by all manner of trouble and protests, but things have been remarkably trouble-free so far.

That changed at the weekend with the grim discovery of the body of Mille Ballai Miuta, an Iranian-born Swedish citizen, who was found dead in a Rio favela called Vidigal. No more details have yet been released about what may have happened; but Brazil, and the World Cup, has been shocked by disturbing development.

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5. South Koreans' insult for flop team on return home

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South Korea greeted with ultimate insult upon return home from World Cup exit

The Spanish team ducked out of a back entrance. Portugal and Cristiano Ronaldo were greeted by a huge crowd ready to cheer them on as heroes, despite their early exit.

The England squad came out of the front door, only to be greeted by a nation filled with indifference and, reportedly, only one fan.

But South Korea's players - who were involved in one of the most exciting matches of the tournament in the 4-2 defeat by Algeria - were not well-treated on their return, being pelted with toffees by fans angered at their inability to qualify from a group including Belgium, Russia and Algeria.

England fans might have done the same, but would probably have come to the conclusion that it would've been a waste of toffees.

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