Early Doors

Do you want to see David Beckham #covered or #uncovered?

That is the question 100 million people will see answered during Sunday’s SuperBowl.

The latest attempt of marketers to engage their audience in an advertising campaign sees ex-footballer and general style icon David Beckham ask fans whether his new underwear commercial should finish with him #covered or #uncovered.

That’s right, you – the people – get to choose Beckham’s state of undress. Democracy in action, one (wo)man one vote, people power and all that.

H&M, the high-street clothing brand that produces Beckham’s pants, has prepared two endings for their 30-second TV commercial, which features the former England captain zip-wiring across a city in his undies.

The ad culminates in Beckham arriving for a shift at a photo-shoot (for that is what he calls work these days); as he rushes to the studio, his ‘bodywear’ (for that what he calls 'pants' these days) catches on a chair, fully disrobing the hulking Adonis to leave an unfathomably attractive production team gasping in shock.

We trust it will be more engaging than this commercial for Belstaff waterproof jackets, where Becks rides a motorbike really slowly through a field of hipsters:

Go on the H&M website if you must engage in this sham emancipation – we all know what the result will be, and that it will be greeted with mass disappointment.

We predict disappointment with some confidence because it is unfathomable that a fully-nude Beckham will be exposed to the American masses during the most widely-watched sporting event on the calendar.

Remember the furore when a stray nipple escaped Janet Jackson’s bodysuit during the halftime interval a decade ago? That was just a nip. And that was accidental.

So the best (or worst?) you can hope for is a glimpse of his bum (known as a 'fanny' in the US).

#anticlimax