Early Doors

Makes You Think: Foreigners like Bale to blame for Young’s diving

Early Doors

Like your football opinions hard-hitting, ill-thought-out and ceaselessly xenophobic?

Good. You're in the right place. Because ALEX NETHERTON is here to SHOUT the FACTS the others don't even have the balls to whisper.

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After the liberal media has had their say, it’s time now to make sure that the honest man’s opinion is heard. That’s where I come in, along with Robbie Savage and John Aldridge. We’re a dying breed, as the socialist conspiracy comes to silence people like us with every step. So make sure you take this all in before the thought police clamp down on this too.

ASHLEY YOUNG NEEDS TO FOLLOW ENGLAND’S EXAMPLE

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Against Sunderland at the weekend, Ashley Young was booked for a theatrical dive in search of a penalty. The ludicrous performance before and after the minimal contact was a disgrace. Any player caught diving on the football pitch should be forced to call up the parents’ of a dead soldier, and explain his cowardice, in contrast to the bravery of our boys abroad.

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But it’s not really Young’s fault. Diving, like rabies, is a disease spread from the continent. Young is just a victim of the example set by the foreigners who have swamped the Premier League. If you have a look at who has the most bookings for diving in the last few years in England, it is a foreigner - Welshman Gareth Bale. Indeed he was probably most likely to be the offender because he was practising for the Spanish league, making himself as attractive as he could to Real Madrid.

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Luckily for England, most of its countrymen refuse to indulge in such a practice - Steven Gerrard, the former captain, and Wayne Rooney, the likely new captain, refrain from any kind of simulation. It is their example Young must follow.

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THE VALUES OF LIVERPOOL FOOTBALL CLUB

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Brendan Rodgers has generously given his time and personal attention to rehabilitating the wayward stray that is Mario Balotelli. Although he warned the striker that this could be his last chance at a big club, he nevertheless found time to reassure him that Liverpool was a family club with values, and that he would be welcome in the fantastic environment.

Brendan, after all, set the values of the club in the last few years. After Luis Suarez bit a man, and began his steps towards redemption, it was Brendan at his side, ultimately making him the kind of wonderful human being who would send a text message to Liverpool wishing them good luck. The change in personality is there for us all to see, and kudos to Brendan.

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LOVE UNITED, LOVE THE GLAZERS

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The Love United, Hate Glazers, Green and Gold campaign must be feeling pretty foolish right now. When Manchester United had half a billion pounds of debt placed upon them and forced to pay for it on behalf of their new owners, a lot of people at Old Trafford complained at the rapacious capitalism. They complained about being moved to a signing section. They complained about constantly being told off for persistent standing. They complained that for almost five years, Stoke City had a greater net spend than them, and that the squad that was bequeathed to David Moyes still had Michael Carrick as the senior midfielder. They complained that sponsorship deals for Mr Potato and paints were debasing the club, as players spent as much time being photographed wearing Hublot watches as playing exciting football.

Ticket prices rose to essentially unaffordable, or at least difficult to justify, levels for those on average wages, meaning half the crowd is now made up of tourists who have flown over from around the world.

Well, I think the Glazers have proved them all wrong now, haven’t they? Investing more than £200 million of their money in the last three transfer windows, if you include the imminent arrivals of Daley Blind and Arturo Vidal. As I’ve said all along, the Glazers gave up the cash whenever they were requested. Move aside, Roman, there’s a new benefactor in town. Is there an owner of the year award? Surely the foresight of replacing David Gill with the new Gordon Gekko, Edward Woodward, deserves recognition.

IT WAS JUST BANTER

We’ve all see some people go down as martyrs of the modern age for their no-holds-barred approach to saying what we’re all thinking. Carol Thatcher was censured by The One Show for saying something ‘obviously offensive.’ Melanie Phillips is attacked for ‘Islamophobia that verges on racism’ and Jeremy Clarkson is no longer ‘indispensable’ to the BBC. These people make do with their wealth as best they can, despite being so routinely censored that we rarely hear from them these days. If we can no longer accept banter for what it is - nothing but harmless fun - then the terrorists have won.

And so it goes for Iain Moody and Malky Mackay. No sooner does it come out that they have exchanged anti-Semitic, homophobic, racist and sexist messages. Wait, no sooner does it come out that they have exchanged anti-Semitic, homophobic, racist and sexist messages on work equipment. Wait, no sooner does it come out that they have exchanged anti-Semitic, homophobic, racist and sexist messages and share some of them with staff. Wait, no sooner does it come out that they have exchanged anti-Semitic, homophobic, racist and sexist messages and share some of them with staff, and also have a past player allege that he made fun of his ethnicity. I’ll be honest, even I can’t defend them on this one.

Risen to the bait? Bellow abuse at Alex Netherton on Twitter (@lxndrnthrtn)

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