The Swede has been suffering from the illness, more commonly known as glandular fever, since the summer of 2011 and his fight against the fatiguing disease is beginning to take its toll on him.
"The hope, the hopelessness, then the hope again, then the hopelessness - that really kills me,” Soderling told ESPN.
“I feel really good, then I start to practice, and then I think maybe in a couple of months I can come back and I really believe it. Then I do a bit too much and wake up one morning not feeling well again.”
Soderling, 28, has not played for a year and a half and he admits his motivation to return to the professional arena is waning.
"In the past couple of months I had my best weeks and days, which gives me the hope, but I get setbacks and feel worse again," he added.
"Overall it's getting better but I'm not as desperate to come back any more tomorrow. I will give it a shot, of course, but I learned to live with the thought that maybe it will not be possible.
"Whatever happens, I will feel I did all I could."
The two-times French Open finalist recently became a father after his long-term partner Jenni Mostrom gave birth to their daughter Olivia, at least giving Soderling some perspective on his struggles.
"For the first time in my life I'm not putting myself first, which is a very strange feeling," he said.
"It's also nice. All my life I've been focusing on tennis, training, getting results.
"I feel I have at least five more years in me. But I still have a lot of things to be thankful for. The (mono) could have happened when I was 18 or 20. I was 27. Up to now I've had a good career."