Rivers of Blatter
Thu May 08 09:07AM
Hot on the heels of yesterday's revelation that foreign footballers whose English isn't up to scratch could face expulsion from these shores comes the sad news of yet more outdated political ramblings.
No matter Enoch Powell has been six feet under for a decade, the politician's controversial views are still being used as inspiration by those who would like to beef up the Englishness of England, and more importantly, its football clubs.
Who's that standing on a podium delivering yet another sermon from his lair in Nyon? None other than FIFA supremo and muck-spreader-in-chief Sepp Blatter.
Sepp's not stupid though - his proposal to limit the number of players plying their trade in a foreign country could well be against EU employment law, but he has a way around that in order to achieve his goal of pure blood football teams (or at least a level of 54.4% purity).
"I am not convinced that the proposal is against EU law," Blatter gushed, presumably not unlike Enoch's river of blood, "because we are not placing any restrictions on the number of foreign players who sign contracts with the clubs - just the number who start each game." Ah ha!
"Of course it will eventually lead to a reduction in the number of foreign players signed because of the need to always have six players [in the starting line-up] who are eligible for the national team in that country, but this will come in step-by-step." Double ah ha!
The six (home nationals) plus five (foreigners) rule, should it get approval at a FIFA congress in Sydney later this month, would represent a triumph for the man who has become as famous for his silly ideas as for his (alleged, by Early Doors) appetite at corporate lunches.
Anyone remember kick-ins instead of throw-ins? How about making the goals bigger? Blatter probably even had something to do with the invention of MultiballTM.
But a triumph for fans, sadly, it will not be. ED remembers having to watch mostly English teams deprived of talented foreigners get totally outclassed when a similar rule applied for European competition not so long ago. Now ED is not saying that Gary Walsh was not a world class keeper, but... well, actually we are.
It is doubtful that the likes of Cristiano Ronaldo, Fernando Torres or Cesc Fabregas would find themselves surplus to requirements under the proposed rules, but what about the likes of Kevin Prince Boateng, Daniel Braaten, Julien Faubert or Emerse Fae? What next for them?
Blatter may not compare too well to 76-goal Ronaldo as a right winger (cymbals please) but once Benny Feilhaber's name springs to mind, his ideas begin to appear a little less crazy...
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ED has always thought Sports Illustrated was a magazine invented purely to showcase the talents of some of the most beautiful women in the world wearing nought but skimpy swimsuits.
But apparently it has other strings to its bow and when not busy shooting hot models in exotic locations, it occasionally covers sporting events, including baseball, basketball, American football and surprisingly even a bit of 'soccer'.
Even more surprising that a football team, and an English one at that, should appear on the SI website's Five Sports Franchises We Love to Hate list. Creeping in at number five is none other than Chelsea.
SI explains its choice: "After a few years of mediocrity, the Blues were purchased by a billionaire, bought every great player in Europe, installed a coach who called himself "the special one" and spent a few years dominating everyone. The Special One is gone, but that sense of entitlement from their fans remains."
Far be it for ED to deny that Chelsea are a loathsome club, but there are nonetheless a few flaws in SI's argument. First up, is Chelsea really a franchise? Every great player in Europe? Other than Steve Sidwell, it's difficult to think of a truly world class recent recruit. A few years dominating everyone? Do two league titles and a couple of cups over the space of three years really count as dominance?
Perhaps they should stick to the bikinis.
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FOREIGN VIEW: Doubts persist about the seriousness of the Spanish Football Federation's bid to stamp out racism after Atletico Madrid were fined the paltry sum of 3,000 euros following racist chanting at Recreativo Huelva's Florent Sinama Pongolle last weekend. For an example of how to punish those responsible properly, look no further than France, where Metz will have to play behind closed doors when they host Lorient at the weekend after Morocco defender Abdeslam Ouaddou, the Valenciennes captain, was racially abused by a Metz fan in February.
QUOTE OF THE DAY: "I don't think anyone in their right mind seriously thinks it [the Premier League] is boring." Surely the league's chief executive Richard Scudamore isn't insinuating Kevin Keegan is a few sandwiches short of a full picnic?
WHAT'S THAT PHOTO ALL ABOUT? Is it: a) the Eric Cantona School of Martial Arts, Beijing branch, b) the Chinese Ministry of Silly Walks, or c) a group of paramilitary police taking part in a training session in Shenyang ahead of this summer's Olympics? Answers on a postcard.
TALKING POINT: Sepp Blatter's controversial plans go before the European Parliament today. What should they vote for?
COMING UP: Former Manchester United ace Paul Parker's thoughts on this weekend's climactic end to the Premier League season and a spot of live action later on tonight with Roma against Catania in the Coppa Italia and Espanyol v Atletico in La Liga.
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IM this storyThe photo looks like tae-kwondo while moaning at your landlord on your phone!
From adogshow on Thu May 08 09:13AM3rd ???????
From kev_tech2003 on Thu May 08 09:15AMI think the guys in the photo are all just big Buster Bloodvessel fans. Either that or Nazis.
From kevmun82 on Thu May 08 09:15AMFirst comment of the day?
From michelangeloindeed on Thu May 08 09:16AMoh well so near, whats this all about? gust getting the fist post while not saying any thing?
'Well fans, do you think we can keep 3rd? after dropping points last night?
From kev_tech2003 on Thu May 08 09:17AMand the one on the right looks like he has pulled some thing!
From kev_tech2003 on Thu May 08 09:18AMCheering team dance training for the Olympic??? lol~~
From vitorlam on Thu May 08 09:19AMWonder where SI got thier info from? Probably phoned the FIFA pres...Not being English, how important is it to the English that the teams are comprised of a 54.4% split? And would a pom still support thier team even though there are virtually no English players? (so maybe a question for Arsenal supporters?)
From adogshow on Thu May 08 09:20AMCheering team dance???
From vitorlam on Thu May 08 09:21AMCheer team dance???
From vitorlam on Thu May 08 09:21AMYes to women wearing sexy kits since they can't play sexy football!
From alihatefi on Thu May 08 09:22AMsorry for my stupid pc and poor networking~~~
From vitorlam on Thu May 08 09:23AMOutraged Gooners, syntactically challenged Kopites, sniggering Spursfans, big-head Mancs, Early Doors hacks, Early Doors illiterate posters - the brickbats hurled by all these I can take. But SPORTS ILLUSTRATED????? Ohmigod. We're doomed! Thanks ED for your half-hearted defence of Chelsea but our sense of superiority is so great we didn't need it.
From michelangeloindeed on Thu May 08 09:24AMWith Sepp Blatter's idea, what of the old problem we've had in England of British players - like Ryan Giggs, being English when they first sign for the club, then becoming Welsh, Scottish, or under Jack Charlton, everybody becoming Irish overnight? Will the English PL, SPL etc been limited to English, Scottish players, or British players? Which way is fair? And what about players with dual/multi nationality? Portugal with Brazilians (no not Ronaldo's bikini line wax).
Personally I'd like to see more English players in the EPL, but only if they are the likes of Gerrard, Lampard, Bentley etc. It'd be a shame if we were denied the talents of Santa Cruz so that the likes of Dion Dublin could once again grace our fields. When I remember some of the shocking players who used to get in teams week in week out when there were restrictions previously, I shudder.
Its a sort of good idea in principle, but I'd say no - I'd rather see football academys developed to start at grass roots and develop some English players who are capable of outing foreigners due to talent, not due to nationality.
From dantomprez on Thu May 08 09:26AMi don't like the idea of the quota on foreign players. surely it will give a better chance for english players, but it will make the game less interesting. i always wanted to watch a game with lots and lots of talents on the very same pitch, putting that quota in will be opposing persuing good football
From vitorlam on Thu May 08 09:27AMi don't like the idea of the quota on foreign players. surely it will give a better chance for english players, but it will make the game less interesting. i always wanted to watch a game with lots and lots of talents on the very same pitch, putting that quota in will be opposing persuing good football
From vitorlam on Thu May 08 09:27AMIf Blatter persists, the top European clubs will break away. There will be some sort of European top tier which will operate outside FIFA. There may still be national leagues in England, Spain, Germany, etc, but they will not have any silly foreigners rules and will instituet their own Euro Cup without the inconvenience of the minor nations taking part. International football will be further devalued and development in eastern Europe and Africa will suffer because the top players will simply follow the money. How's that for a serious comment Kev_tech?
From michelangeloindeed on Thu May 08 09:29AMMichael, the photo is actually an Asian training camp the "Special One" is working on. He never left S.Bridge but is doing a covert training camp aimed at creating the greatest, genetically modified (after himself of course) team in all the world. only problem is, Blatter has thrown a spanner in the works with the proposed plan of 54.5% split. the blokes in the pic, are obviously not english...looks like things are coming on nicely, this way Chelsea doesn't need to buy players anymore to win cups, they can just make them!
From adogshow on Thu May 08 09:32AMby the way s n i g g e r i n g is not a swear word!
From michelangeloindeed on Thu May 08 09:32AMMaybe Blatter's concern is not the quality of the English Premier League, but all the other European competitions, who lack Russian Oligarchs and Asian ex-dictators to pay for outrageous wages?
From tompuntcom on Thu May 08 09:35AMED's maths out today.. 54.5% do not underestimate how important the 0.1% is to Sepp Blatter. After all, he is Swiss.
ED also could have alleged a @#$%ction with the Nazi gold to round off the innuendo.
From g_hine on Thu May 08 09:35AMWhat on Earth is the problem with a quota of English players in the starting line up of each game? Sounds very sensible. What is the point of player as an English club in Europe without a certain number of English players. SAme should go for the League, fa and Carling cups. I'm English, not European or Brazillian. My heroes are English players. I'd like to see more of them.
From supersparky2005 on Thu May 08 09:38AMGood point michael (although a little Aplocolyptic) maybe we'll see a rebel soccer league like in Cricket? Can just imagine the names of some the teams, Glasgow Gamgee Grapplers, Monster Men of Milan or even Lemmings of London? Hmmm, not sure that would work. If they revert to a quota system, time will quickly tell how the system just doesn't work. the fans and the quality of game will probably diminish and so will the money. and money talks doesn't it. at the end of the day, we want football! and who cares who is scoring the goals as long as football remains beautiful!
From adogshow on Thu May 08 09:40AMIf it's against EU employment law to limit the number of foreigners playing for one club then how can we get away with the discrimination involved in selecting national teams? Surely it's against the law to prohibit someone from playing for England if they are not English?
From rubenheimer on Thu May 08 09:41AMHere's what the guys in the photo are saying "Ready, steady, let's get set / I'm gonna kick it to Thibet."
Sepp Blatter (rhymes with "mine's the large mixed grill platter" or "the sea food done in batter"
is merely echoing the latest little whatever-country-unlucky-enough-to-have-them-born-
in-it ravings about keeping foreigners out whether it's building fences along the Mexican border, having nightmares about Polish labourers in Slough, or foreign footballers at Arsenal. The next thing will be 'The Yellow Peril' in football, which used to be Brazil, but now it will be Asian footballers.
From james_ssmith on Thu May 08 09:45AMThe picture is clearly the French Army practising the Can-Can
From dean_stamford on Thu May 08 09:45AMwhy did sepp not come up with this idea when other countries teams were dominating does he just hate english football!!
From omrobbie on Thu May 08 09:46AMIt's got to be a photo of North Koreas new can can dance team?!
From amcd1982 on Thu May 08 09:46AMMr Blatter's obsession and determination reminds one that every generation has always presented us with people's quest for a perfect race and world dominance.
Obviously, he is bent on protecting the European leagues or why do you think players come to Europe? If they have better leagues why come to Europe?
Why is he not pursuing developing leagues in other continents? Or increasing their World cup slots?
He is just 'Blatter-ntly' telling us he is FIFA president for Europe
From da9ja on Thu May 08 09:48AMYes I think Motherwell can still keep 3rd place. SHould beat Rangers at Fir POark, outplayed then 1st half at Ibrox and have outplayed them a full half everytime they have played them this season.
And yes Chelsea did dominate English football for a couple years, dominated it with ease. 1 season, Only defeat came from a penalty n a team parking the bus, put out FA cup after outplaying a team when only having 9 players on the park and cheated out of CL final. Won the league with a good bit to spare as well. basically Chelsea raised the standard of the EPL.
Oh and I hate Rangers!
From sav46e on Thu May 08 09:49AM
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