Early Doors - Your morning briefing blog

One question about the man cockneys are calling Luca Pony: How in God's name did he score 39 goals for Bayern Munich last season?Early Döorß finds it hard to believe Toni and some chubby kid who enjoys parading round in his pants (Antonio Cassano, pictured) are the best strikers Italy...More

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In football, as in life, there are certain grim predictabilities.For every piece of bread that lands butter side-down, there is the summer transfer saga that begins in mildly diverting fashion before rumbling on interminably for so long that football fans are soon gouging their eyes out with their own thumbs in an...More

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Petr Cech's incredible howler against Turkey last night added further mental scarring to an already shell-shocked Chelsea squad. The last month has seen John Terry's Week of TearsTM and strong rumours that Cheryl Cole has finally decided to ditch 'love rat' Ashley, before Cech's nightmare last night.Early Döorß shudders to...More

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Early Döorß has always struggled to understand the British tabloid press. They seem to be in love with Manchester United and England striker Wayne Rooney and even more so with his fraulein Coleen McLoughlin, with photographs of her wearing the same outfit she wore two years ago worthy of being...More

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The clock showed 67:16 in the frankly bonkers match between Switzerland and Turkey when news broke that Big Phil Scolari will be Chelsea's next manager from July 1. Early Döorß only wishes that it had happened during Portugal's match against the Czech Republic earlier that evening, just to see the...More

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History suggests you should beware Greeks bearing gifts, but Early Döorß is more concerned about those who bring sod all to the party. Otto Rehhagel's crashed Austria and Switzerland's bash, without even supplying a courtesy bottle of service station Chardonnay, and immediately raided the fridge for a six-pack of special...More

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Blimey. Didn't see that one coming. No, it wasn't a game in which both teams scored. But it was the first genuinely exciting game of Euro 2008 and a result that Early Döorß would not have predicted even with 15 shots of Jägermeister inside it. So, in a brief hiatus from...More

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Fans of historical re-enactments would have seen echoes of the past in the way Germany repeatedly stormed their way through a crumbling Polish defence yesterday, particularly with a bloke called Fritz on the right wing. Group B at Euro 2008 also features Austria and Croatia, meaning you can almost drive from...More

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Early Döorß presents its players to watch for Euro 2008. Not for anything good, you understand, but because they might do something a bit naughty. Austria - Emanuel Pogatetz Mad Pog was banned for six months after breaking Yaroslav Kharitoniskiy's leg in two places while on loan at Spartak Moscow in...More

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Two days remain until the start of Euro 2008, and the excitement in Austria and Switzerland has reached feverish levels. Which, in medical terms, means about 39 degrees centigrade - only slightly higher than normal, but enough to make you feel quite unwell.Early Döorß might hail from a remote Alpine...More

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