Early Doors - Your morning briefing blog

Early Doors

Joy Division

Tue Oct 07 08:42AM

Has The Times conjured up the crises at Newcastle and Tottenham (and Everton) to tie in with its giveaway of depressing CDs?It can hardly be a coincidence that, on a day when Toon and Spurs supporters see their clubs openly mocked on the back pages, The Times is giving away…More

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Recent posts by Early Doors

  • Chelsea fans stop a bus

    Congestion charge

    Fri May 16 08:58AM

    Chelsea will be denied an open-top bus parade on Thursday if they win the Champions League as the council believe it will cause massive traffic jams. A Hammersmith and Fulham councillor said: "Holding a parade on Thursday evening is not an option considering that it would bring a large part...More

    192 comments

  • European hangover

    Thu May 15 08:58AM

    In the end, Rangers' European campaign mirrored their fans' day in Manchester, as great passion and excitement gave way to disarray. In fact there are several parallels:It started early: July 31 for the team, while the supporters kicked off a mammoth drinking session by queueing en masse to get into...More

    97 comments

  • Boring, boring Rangers

    Wed May 14 08:59AM

    At the risk of becoming less popular around Ibrox than Artur Boruc's 'God bless the Pope' t-shirt, Early Doors must confess it doesn't really want Rangers to win the UEFA Cup final. Put simply, Leo Messi hit the nail on the head when he described their style as "anti-football". Put...More

    129 comments

  • The Doorsies

    Tue May 13 08:57AM

    [Cue Champions League music, albeit in Nokia ringtone form] Good morning and welcome to the inaugural Early Doors End-of-season awards - the Doorsies! It is time to honour those people who have made this season so special, and look back at the laughter, the tears and the ludicrous tantrums. [Cue...More

    101 comments

  • Warning! Vehicle reversing!

    Mon May 12 08:52AM

    Early Doors thoroughly enjoyed its Sunday afternoon. Due to skin so prone to burning the slightest exposure to sunlight could provoke spontaneous human combustion, it stayed indoors, engrossed in 'The Jewel of the Nile' on ITV. ED loved the on-screen chemistry between Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner, and laughed out...More

    103 comments

  • Official beer of Euro 2008 - watch those tables fly!

    Squeaky bum time

    Fri May 09 08:41AM

    Alex Ferguson will be the first to admit it - if ever there was a time for backsides to start making funny noises, it will be on Sunday when the final chapter of this season's story unfolds.With just one issue settled heading into the final day - the Worst Team...More

    200 comments

  • Chinese special forces prepare for the Olympic taekwondo competition.

    Rivers of Blatter

    Thu May 08 09:07AM

    Hot on the heels of yesterday's revelation that foreign footballers whose English isn't up to scratch could face expulsion from these shores comes the sad news of yet more outdated political ramblings.No matter Enoch Powell has been six feet under for a decade, the politician's controversial views are still being...More

    116 comments

  • Note military type behind debating whether to go for the exploding cigar or poison-tipped umbrella.

    Enemy of the state

    Wed May 07 08:57AM

    MORE DESPATCHES FROM SEPP BLATTER'S CHOICE FOR WORLD CUP 2018: If it is a treasonable offence to affix a stamp with the Queen's head upside-down, then surely denying Cliff Richard a Eurovision Song Contest victory should result in a slow and grizzly execution.Yet a documentary has claimed that General Franco...More

    48 comments

  • Collecting splinters

    Tue May 06 09:00AM

    Losing that game to Croatia was the best thing that could have happened to English football. Just look at the state of the players Steve McClown would have been taking to Euro 2008.Wayne Rooney is injured (again), while his replacement Carlos Tevez is showing him up with vastly superior performances.Fellow...More

    86 comments

  • Hatchet man

    Mon May 05 08:52AM

    Early Doors knows it has stuck up for them in the past, but it sees a growing body of evidence suggesting that foreign owners can be a menace.The merest mention of Tom Hicks, Thaksin Shinawatra or Those Guys Who Bought Derby can cause palpitations among many fans, while next week we may see...More

    74 comments