An over-exaggeration of course, but still, Emirates Stadium witnessed one of the most calamitous starts to a league season in some years on Saturday afternoon as Arsenal produced a typically Arsenal-esque meltdown to lose 3-1 to Aston Villa.
Not only did they capitulate having taken the lead through Olivier Giroud’s close-range conversion from Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain’s cross, but Kieran Gibbs went off with a big gash to the head, Laurent Koscielny was dismissed to incur a suspension and Bacary Sagna suffered a nasty fall in the final minutes.
And as boos rang out around Emirates Stadium at the final whistle - along with chants of "spend some f*****g money" - the frugal Arsene Wenger was under assault once more. After a brief sunny convalescence, the pressure is back on the manager. At Arsenal, it's like the summer never happened.
Quite ridiculously, Koscielny’s suspension means Sagna, if he recovers, will have to play alongside Per Mertesacker in next weekend’s game against Fulham. This summer Arsenal have dispensed with three centre-backs in Ignasi Miquel, Johan Djourou and Sebastien Squillaci without signing a single replacement – and with the knowledge that captain Thomas Vermaelen is injured for six weeks.
As other Premier League clubs proudly paraded new record signings – in Cardiff’s case, three – Arsene Wenger’s teamsheet contained not one new name on it, with their sole acquisition Yaya Sanogo, recruited on a free transfer from Auxerre, making the bench.
On a day that is supposed to be a festival of the new – witness Ricky van Wolfswinkel opening his account for Norwich, or Antonio Luna racing clear to claim a third for Villa – Arsenal steadfastly refused to present any façade of progress, not only in the make-up of their team but also in their penchant for calamity.
Stuck in their insular economy and apparently oblivious to the rapid changes occurring all around them, the North Londoners are the Premier League’s answer to North Korea.
Having one available centre-back is a ludicrous position to find themselves in just one game into the season – yet it is entirely predictable too. For some time, Wenger appears to have been conducting his own experiment in the art of squad-building that results in big gaps being left for no discernible reason.
In the summer of 2008 Arsenal lost Gilberto Silva, Mathieu Flamini and Lassana Diarra; Wenger responded not by signing a replacement, but by placing his faith in Denilson. Last season he loaned out Marouane Chamakh in January to leave Olivier Giroud as his only genuine centre-forward.
A refusal to spend money once seemed admirable but it long ago lapsed into self-parody. Now it just seems outright bizarre. What would Arsenal have given for a commanding goalkeeper against Villa, when Wojciech Szczesny gave away a penalty and looked a bag of nerves? Would a centre-back on the bench been useful? Perhaps Luiz Gustavo in midfield might have made them a touch more robust.
The transfer of the Brazil international to Wolfsburg this week was very illuminating as to Arsenal’s current MO in the market as they targeted a talented player but then, reportedly, refused to pay his wages – and this despite all Ivan Gazidis’s boasting at the start of the summer regarding Arsenal's alleged new financial muscle.
Let’s just revisit one of those quotes: "This year we are beginning to see something we have been planning for some time - the escalation in our financial firepower.”
A summer profit of £11 million, with precisely £0 spent, would suggest Arsenal’s Premier League rivals don’t need to start cowering just yet.
Having spent the majority of the summer desperately chasing a player who counts biting another professional as one of his lesser crimes on the pitch – only to be outmanoeuvred by Anfield double act Ian Ayre and Brendan Rodgers – Arsenal now find themselves in a predicament.
Fans angrily demanded new signings towards the end of the Villa game, and spend they must. But on whom? Luis Suarez is not leaving, Gonzalo Higuain has signed for Napoli, Gustavo lines up for Wolfsburg.
Arsenal fans must fear a repeat of the Great Panic Buy of 2011 that saw Andre Santos and Park Chu-Young rushed in on deadline day, even if Mikel Arteta and Per Mertesacker have proved rather more reliable signings from that last-minute dash.
But can you really trust Wenger, Gazidis and the Arsenal board to put things right in what remains of the transfer window, given how shambolic the summer has been for the club so far?
As long as the bank balance remains untouched and Arsenal's glaring problems go unaddressed, Wenger's authority, or what remains of it, erodes further.
Tom Adams - @tomEurosport