Luis Suarez against Chelsea (Reuters)

It's official - what happened on Sunday was officially the joint sixth-worst thing a player has ever done in the history of English football.

The only things to have earned a longer ban:
-Kung-fu kicking a fan (Eric Cantona, nine months)
-Testing positive for cocaine (Mark Bosnich, nine months)
-Missing a drugs test (Rio Ferdinand, eight months)
-Getting sent off then committing violent conduct twice (Joey Barton, 12 matches)
-Pushing the referee over (Paolo Di Canio, 11 games).

Luis Suarez's nibble on Branislav Ivanovic was worse than:
-Punching your opponent and breaking his jaw (Paul

Mario Goetze (c) trains ahead of Dortmund's game in Madrid (AFP)

Borussia Dortmund's Juergen Klopp has crafted a reputation as one of Europe's ablest managers.

Yet even he could have been forgiven for throwing his hands up in resignation when, two days before the biggest game of his life, news leaked that Dortmund were selling their star player to their biggest rivals.

Bayern Munich, Bundesliga winners and fellow Champions League semi-finalists, had paid Mario Goetze's €37 million (£32m) release clause to bring him Bavaria.

At 20, Goetze's potential appears limitless; already one of Europe's best attacking midfielders and a regular in the German national

It all started off so friendly. A grand occasion, played between two historic teams in a manner worthy of Sir Matt Busby and Santiago Bernabeu.

Real Madrid manager Jose Mourinho said it should have been the final, while Manchester United's Sir Alex Ferguson unleashed an epic blast of his misty-eyed Euro-love in his programme notes:

"People ask me why I don't retire after so many years in the game, but how could anyone with an ounce of passion for football in their soul voluntarily walk away from the opportunity to be involved in this kind of occasion?"

Imagine him saying that about a trip to

Eurosport-Yahoo! has been profiling sporting Heroes of 2012 all week. Today, you get an arbitrary selection of heroes.

It's not meant to be comprehensive or objective. It's just a list of people who have enhanced the year in sport for me, in alphabetical order.

Please add your own selections at the bottom of the page.

Nicola Adams - Thumped people, hard. Then went to Nando's.

Sergio Aguero - Completed the most ridiculous end to a football season we will ever see.

Ben Ainslie - Four consecutive Olympic golds. The ultimate competitor.

Hashim Amla - Impossible to get out.

Usain Bolt - Still the

"I want people to understand there are no miracles in my life.

"It's true I had a big accident, my heart stopped seven times and the doctors gave me no chance of survival. The odds were 100 per cent against me. But here I am. And one and a half years later, the same people who shed tears because they thought I had passed away saw me back at the Lausitzring circuit doing more or less the same thing I was doing before. I can understand that from the outside this looks like a great miracle.

"It's the same when a guy one day quits motorsport and takes up hand cycling, which he has never done

This is my favourite photo of 2012 by far.

As you know, it's Laura Trott and Jason Kenny - fresh from winning two Olympic gold medals apiece - indulging in a public display of affection at London 2012.

The pair pitched up at Horse Guards Parade, to drink beer and enjoy a mildly tipsy snog in front of the beach volleyball. All very sweet.

Of course, it's not a conventionally great photograph. The background is boring, the lighting harsh, and then there's that idiot with his head blocking our view of Kenny... wait a minute! I know that guy! Hey Becks, get your head down!

And that's what makes

We begin our series looking at the year's greatest sporting heroes with a profile of US Open and Olympic champion Andy Murray, making the case for him to win BBC Sports Personality.

For as long as I can remember, Britain has been hopeless at tennis.

One of my first sporting memories is Boris Becker winning Wimbledon in 1985.

That year, seven of the eight British men went out in the first round - the exception, John Lloyd, lost to Henri Leconte in the third round.

Throughout my formative years there was no point complaining about Lloyd or Jeremy Bates or Andrew Castle, because they were the

There wasn't much to say about Chelsea sacking Roberto Di Matteo, except: "Yes, that's what they do."

The statement announcing the manager's departure contained no pretence that this was a difficult or gut-wrenching decision.

Here's what it said: "The team's recent performances and results have not been good enough and the owner and the Board felt that a change was necessary now to keep the club moving in the right direction as we head into a vitally important part of the season."

In other words, the way to spice things up heading into the busy Christmas period is to change the manager.

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