First there was Slim Shady - now, a decade on, eurosport.yahoo.com can reveal the new white kid who can rap: Rafa B Nitez.

Several years after Marshall Mathers first hit the charts, Nitez could take hip-hop into the next stage of middle-class acceptability.

It is no longer enough to be white - Nitez brings a receding hairline, glasses and of course that trademark goatee. This is his edge.

He could start with a cover of 'My Name Is', replacing 'Slim Shady' with 'Rafa B' then, when popular and critical acclaim fuels demand, follow up soon after with 'The Real L.F.C.', asking his players why on earth they cannot beat Reading yet hammer Marseille days later.

That Eminem cover of Will Smith's 'Just the Two of Us' could be shamelessly plagiarised a third time to 'Just the Three of Us', inviting Bill Hicks and Mack III Gillette to share in his newfound fame - and convince them not to sack him when they meet up soon.

'Stan' could be kept too as Nitez turns his attention to more strikers in January, former waste-of-money Collymore likely to be all he can afford when the Americans refuse him more funds. It might just do the trick: all sportsmen like to be name-checked by rappers.

Remember that pants song 'Cleanin' out my Closet'? Well Nitez, who by now is having a crisis of identity and shall hereafter be known as 'B' or 'The B Man', changes it to 'Cleanin' Out my Desk Top' after he gets the boot at the season's end. The new album gives him a chance to strike back in lyrical warfare, raising the possibility of a Hicks-Gillett collaboration.

The slight upon George Dubya Bush 'Mosh' is flagrantly copied to slag off Gordon Brown and 'Just Lose It' says it all really as The B Man goes down in flames, a hip-hop martyr to be talked about for decades.

He may not be another 27-year-old musical casualty - but 47 is the new 27 in rap circles. And the ages are going up: we can't wait for next year's Weng-Fergie battle in downtown Trafford.

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The Capello machine rumbles on, with various comment pieces from English hacks and footballing celebrities sticking their oars in.

Various papers report Ruud Gullit's assertion that Capello will help England to win games, but we should not expect any sexy football. Who wants bras and knickers when there's football to watch anyway? (No wonder Doors hasn't had a long-term bird for years).

Arsene Wenger and Alex Ferguson have also backed his appointment: two more people who have the best interests of the national team at heart. If Doors was Brian Barwick, it would turn instantly to Marcello Lippi when those two pipe up in support.

Martin Samuel of The Times says England under Fab would signal the end of "being beaten up in the playground". Sounds like Samuel, a long-term critic of Sven-Goran Eriksson and Steve McClaren, is finally getting over his traumatic formative years.

Henry Winter in the Daily Telegraph reckons that senior people within the Football Association want Capello to strip John Terry of his captaincy to start. As if you are going to hire a man with his massive experience then tell him how to do his job. Pur-lease.

But Doors's favourite article this morning is The Guardian's '10 things you need to know about Capello', which features such gems as "He is a winner", "Before he was a manager he was a manager", "He is a bit of an art buff", "He is not as boring as some people think" and "His image rights are probably worth more than Steve Bruce's".

Scraping the barrel a bit boys, aren't we?

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QUOTE OF THE DAY: Milan coach Carlo Ancelotti is not at all bothered by the prospect of Jose Mourinho nicking his job. "I read an article in the Italian papers about Mourinho. Milan were supposed to have offered him my job. They may have done, but I haven't been informed by the club that there has been a formal offer. If Mourinho does want the job it just gives me extra motivation. External talk like that doesn't give me any added pressure. I'm simply concentrating on my job."

FOREIGN VIEW: Marca is chuffed that its favourite son Real Madrid are through to the last 16 of the Champions League. "With Authority" it titles its account of the defeat of Lazio, while Bernd Schuster reveals that despite dropping Guti again - who was sent off in La Liga recently - that "I am not punishing Guti: here we do not know how to punish people".

COMING UP: We've another cracking evening of LIVE Champions League action in store, with Manchester United travelling to Roma - gulp - Arsenal at home to Steaua Bucharest and Rangers' decisive clash with Lyon at Ibrox. This is the place for commentary and scoring, as it happens.

Jonathan Symcox / Eurosport