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What do George Hincapie and former Formula One driver Damon Hill have in common? They've both been done in, allegedly, by a Schumacher.

Remember the Adelaide Grand Prix back in 1994 when Michael Schumacher swerved into Hill, thereby denying motorsport's answer to Tim Henman the world title? Well, when (quite literally) push comes to shove, the new surprise Tour de France race leader is no stranger himself to such dastardly manoeuvres.

All eyes were on Stefan Schumi on Tuesday as the German blitzed into the yellow jersey with a determined piece of time-trialing which had the specialists questioning the authenticity of their no doubt Swiss-made timepieces.

But two years ago, on the final stage of the Benelux Tour, the Gerolsteiner rider found himself in hot water after bringing down Hincapie in a bunch sprint with just 60 metres to go to the finish.

And, just as in the case of Schumi and Hill, everything was at stake, the two riders being separated by only a cluster of seconds and with vital time bonuses up for grabs on the line.

The eventual loser of the Tour by a mere second, Hincapie was indignant, claiming his rival had swerved deliberately to bring him down. The American appealed, but Schumi's explanation was accepted by the jury - the rider said he had moved suddenly to avoid a spectator leaning over the barriers, and as such could not avoid clipping Hincapie's wheel.

To make matters frostier, the German then claimed that he would have won the sprint - and the overall victory - regardless.

Controversy is no stranger to Schumacher the cyclist. In 2004 he tested positive for the amphetamine cathine - an appetite suppressant (if only Jan Ullrich had been au fait) - but was let off after explaining it had been prescribed to him (by his mother, a doctor) as a treatment to asthma.

Victory in the Tour of Poland, two stages and two pink jerseys in the Giro, and the Benelux incident all followed before Schumi, in 2007, stormed to victory in the Amstel Gold. Tests, however, showed the rider to have "irregular blood levels" but this too was waived as a result of chronic diarrhoea.

But brown shorts was not the only problem for the bald-headed bullet when a week later, after a night out drinking copious bottles of, erm, Amstel, he decided to try and emulate his distant cousin Michael and take a spin in his car.

Crashing said vehicle into a garden fence, he subsequently fled the scene, was arrested, taken into custody, tested for drink driving - and ended up turning in positives for both booze AND amphetamines (that's "speed", in street terms), thought to have been spiked in his drink.

In Germany they have an expression for this type of behaviour that loosely translates as 'you can take the boy out of Jan Ullrich but you can't take Jan Ullrich out of the boy'.

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Wednesday's stage five, a 232km slog from Cholet to Chateauroux, is the Tour's longest and flattest, making it ideal for the sprinters. Indeed, the last time the race visited the town - which is home to iconic French actor Gerard Depardieu - was back in 1998 when Mario 'The Lion King' Cipollini shredded his rivals to pieces.

Depardieu is a giant in many senses. Standing almost six foot tall, with a paunch to rival Big Daddy in his heyday and an extraordinarily prodigious proboscis, it's no wonder that the floppy-haired Frenchman took the role of Obelix in the box office version of the famous comic Asterix. He is also clearly a work bulimic, having churned out more than 170 films during his interminable career.

Which leads us neatly to a prediction for the stage that finishes in Depardieu's back yard; with 178 riders left in the race, that works out at about one for every film Gerard has produced.

Now Blazin' Saddles is a big fan of the man who personified the swashbuckling Cyrano de Bergerac so well back in the 1990 classic. But the big man's early stuff - when he was actually rather trim compared to being "a very attractive truck", as one famous singer so gallantly put - is infinitely better, Blazin' Saddles' favourite being the 1979 surreal black comedy Buffet Froid.

The film was Depardieu's 55th of his career - making it the cinematic equivalent of Baden Cooke, the Australian who wears that same number in this year's Tour. Cooke, a sprinter who still has a bit of gas in him, would like nothing better than getting one over arch-rival, and compatriot, Robbie McEwen in Chateauroux.

And besides - with a name like Cooke, he is perfectly suited to do so in the home of one of gastronomy's best friends.

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Plat du jour

All this in turn rolls nicely to the dish of the day. Given Depardieu's well-publicised love of food, it would be folly not to consult the tastes of our hero here.

As a child, son to very poor and rather rustic parents, Gerard was accustomed to eating pig's lungs and hedgehogs, the latter, so he says, being cooked on a fire in a coating of mud, but only once the poor animal had had air pumped into its bottom via a valve so as to facilitate the removal of the prickly quills.

Not that Blazin' Saddles is going to suggest eating such an airy delicacy. Gerard has come a long way since those early days - and so have his tastes. The region of Le Berry and Indre is renowned for its dandelion salad, its pork and egg pie and its pumpkin pie made with garlic and a local green squash.

Washed down with a local wine, of course. Depardieu, who owns several vineyards (and is friends with Fidel Castro), has readily admitted that when stressed he drinks five to six bottles of the stuff a day. And when relaxed? A meagre three to four.

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Lanterne Rouge

It looks like Tinkoff Systems are going to have a bit of a tasty squad next year.

Following news that Gert Steegmans and, probably, Filippo Pozzato will be signing on the dotted line, it now emerges that the Italy-based outfit have lined up Silence-Lotto's Hendrik Redant as new directeur sportif.

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Blazin' Saddles' last word comes from Saunier Duval's motor-mouth Riccardo Ricco who, true to form, lambasted reporters after he lost vital time at the end of stage three, with the words: "Perhaps you journalists don't understand that I am not here to work for the classification."

Apparently Saunier's main man is not Ricco, but Juan Jose Cobo. Which is like saying Lotto are not in it for Cadel Evans, but Wim Vansevenant.

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Felix Lowe / Eurosport